Confidence is a Constant

When you’re feeling confident, you like to believe it’s for a reason, and not just a function of your own bias of self-preservation. The goal is to be self-assured in some kind of direct relationship with your actual worth and achievements, isn’t it? Anyone can think anything, you suppose, so when you wake up feeling like a million bucks, you sure do hope the feeling is somehow legitimate. You pat yourself on the back and go on about your day.

You got this.

And as you’re walking along, feeling oh-so-confident – probably even mentally high-fiving yourself – you notice the little things are just, well, so much better when you’re confident. Your dress fits better. Your hair doesn’t suck. Everything falls into place. Everything fits. Everything makes sense. Everything is awesome. It’s just like Legos, baby.

Then you get knifed in the heel by a sharp-edged, orphan Lego – one that has not fit or fallen into place in your confident reality. One that incites you to blurt out, “M!th@%u*^@!” to anyone with ears, as you realize the dress fits better only because you haven’t zipped the back up all the way. And you’ve walked around a good half day with your bra hanging out – possibly covered by your hair – but probably not, because, you know, you’re not Gisele Bundchen, and you could use a good three inches cut off the see-through ends of that hair. You know, the hair that doesn’t suck?

There goes the confidence. Damn it.

Never mind. You can still be confident. Confidence is subjective, yes, but not in the way you may have always believed. It shouldn’t be based on how you look, how you’re perceived by others, how you perceive yourself, or even so much what you’ve achieved. Those things are pretty subjective, and while you can, doubtless, bask in their glow, you shouldn’t in order to be confident. If your self-worth is based on outside influences – even your own opinions – it will always be flawed. Confidence should just be based on you. Not the subjective you, bursting with an emotional point-of-view and something to prove, but the YOU you. The one who has your own best interests at heart. The one who can flip her frayed hair (yes, like the L’Oreal commercial), zip up the now too-tight dress, and say, “Because I’m worth it.”

You pick the Lego out of your heel and pick your head up – confident. Confidence is subjective, but the subject is constant. You’ll always be you. Make your confidence a constant.