Settling

The common goal of just about everyone I know is getting what they want. We are all striving to get what we want. We are encouraged endlessly by internet lists, quotes, catchy memes, and inspirational Facebook statuses to go out and get what it is we came for in life. Our days are brimming over with the inspirational tools to do so. Go big or go home. Make it happen. Dream the impossible dream. Getting what we want is the underlying theme of our lives. We’re entitled, aren’t we?

Not sure.

But the drive to achieve, blossom, and grow into whomever it is we are destined to be is a venerable one, a worthy one. We should always be working toward a better us. Who can argue with that? Nonetheless, after a conversation about the struggle to realize a life’s dream with someone whom I admire for the qualities of perseverance, diligence, and all-around goodness, I began to wonder if the constant push toward achievement of goals somehow undermines our ability to savor the accomplishments we have made, to cherish the good things about ourselves we’ve already fully developed.

My father was an artist. Without any effort whatsoever, he could sketch, paint, carve, sculpt, and express with his hands almost anything imaginable. Not only did I wish I could do the same, I tried to do the same. But I’m not an artist. I can’t draw. I can see what it is I want to create, the beauty of light and color and lines, but just can’t do it. I didn’t inherit that gene. No, I can’t paint. I can’t sculpt. I’m even bad at kid-oriented arts and crafts. I have no patience, and after any such endeavors, am left almost exclusively with paper cuts, glued skin, and – sadly – nothing to show for my intense efforts.

I have only now realized that perhaps I can do it another way. Certainly my attempts to draw were not the way – which made me think that the goals we’ve set for ourselves, the dreams we have, the wishes we embrace, are sometimes not meant to pan out exactly how we’ve outlined them in our thoughts. I’m not an artist – but there are other ways to be creative. Aren’t there?

Some people believe that adapting – or even changing – your goals is settling. Some believe that unless you are moving forward, you are stagnant, standing still – that to stand back and enjoy the moment is also settling. To some extent, I suppose, that’s true. But why not ever rest on your laurels for a second to appreciate all you’ve done to get where you are – to be you? Hasn’t that been an accomplishment? Didn’t it take a whole bunch of hard work to get wherever it is you are? What’s wrong with patting yourself on the back – and then, maybe, reassessing and adapting your objectives?

Whatever your goals are, keep working toward them. Of course. Just remember that a deep breath, a quick look back, and a moment of pride might be the catalyst you needed to recognize precisely where you’re meant to be in life. Those goals you have will still be there when you turn around to look ahead of you once again. Probably more attainable, too. Just not how you originally thought.

It’s not settling.